Are We There Yet?

It must be 8 weeks now. Back when the Thanksgiving meal was still settling into my belly and the prospect of Christmas was keeping me awake at night. I got a cold. It was nothing, a non-cold, a couple of days inconvenience and then back to the business of life. But this cold left with me a visitor. A little tickle in the throat and a small wheeze in my chest that has kept me company ever since. Each week I watch the light get just a bit brighter, the shadows changing from main event to supporting members and think, this week my cough, this constant ahem in my throat will fade away and the mornings will become moments of silence once again. No more clearing my throat, no more blowing my nose, no more hack and snarf. No more buying kleenex in bulk, no more sneezing three times in a row. This is not fun or entertainment or occupation. Well- perhaps occupation of another sort- my body has been occupied by an invader- unwelcome guest. The strategies to oust the interloper have included ...

I just found an article about a man who has made a world out of action figures. It seems so real. He had his world taken when beaten to the point that he has no memories. He now makes his own world from his imagination. Fantastic thought. Though we may have no past we will create one to occupy what is gone. His world is occupied by violence and stories around WWII. He is too young to have gone through this, but has recreated what he imagines to have happened were he there himself. I am looking forward to seeing this film for myself.

The dawn has not arrived. Dark and chill at 3am. The snow catches all available light and creates an illusion of moonglow, though it is only the reflection of sodium vapor street lamps as they hiss and buzz through each hour of the dark. I am awake at this time more often than not, releasing the half- remembered dreams and regrets of the minutes and hours that have slid past me, unnoticed. I am full of resolve at 3am. The list is created and starred and underscored with firm intention. But then, as the light grows in the east, the day begins and all those things that clutter each day seep into my intention. The meditation is shorter, the dry toast is buttered, the 3rd cup of coffee added and all without more than a passing thought, "Shame on you." I have noticed something about that resolve I mentioned. It was strong and reliable not so long ago. Something changed. As simple as just not caring. I am unsure why this has happened. Procrastination? They call it sloth in five s...

The acid tang of autumn leaves mingles with dry air - wet dog - we walk along the path to the ski jump. The rain has swept the leaves off and away leaving nothing. Crystalized mud crunches beneath my feet we move quickly up the trail. There is no moment wasted. Every day I see new signs. They are only new to me.  Each walk in the woods, thoughts drift through my mind, changing the focus of my vision. The stone lodged up high in the branches of a leggy hemlock. Another day silent mystery of a swooping owl. Slate quarry Brackish water has a skim of ice today. The wind breaks it up and there is a soft skree skree shushing  - the dog- tests the air with her muddy snout. Winter symphony take my heart to the certain knowledge that I belong.

 Had a fabulous evening in NYC with friends last weekend. An unexpected series of sights and sounds. We arrived in the city just a block from times Square. It took my breath away to see all the lights. And then we were entertained with an evening of Prairie Home Companion. Who could ask for more! Well- Elvis Costello made it so. This is a link to some photos from our adventure, capturing the memory for us. December Fun