xmas 2011

We spent yesterday rushing from one party to the next. Love people. Parties...loud...can't hear...red wine on my shoes...not my idea of a great night. The last party we went to was a room of 30-40 year old young adults. White prosperous, self-assured and full of the promises that life gives them. Professionals and long time residents of an insular and self obsessed society. It was a fundraiser for those less fortunate. Lawyers and NYC escapees were the primary attendees. The wives were lovely, well dressed and athletic. This was clearly their night. Dressed in shimmery silks and cashmere. Hair cut and dyed for the holidays, many were there with the promise that all is well. There were a few of us over 50 and invited to round out the group. Several men, older and well oiled, clumped by the bar, talking about their sports cliques and exercise regimes. Happy with their portfolios, ready to face the grandkids and take their three week vacation in February.
Okay. It is true. The cynicism and grinch in my heart are very present at the moment. these are all people who just want to have a peaceful and loving life for themselves and their children. I guess, as I stood there, all I could think of was where was I at that age, and why could I never feel the comfort of being a part of something, as these people seemed to do? The ability to open one's heart and let in the love of the world has never been easy. Slipping into joy for others, the ability to put one's peers at ease to give them the space to open and flower within their own comfort. To feel the love and joy of others.